Why does it had to be you?

How do you stop the rain from falling?
And how can I stop myself from loving you? Why does it have to be? It had to be you?
How can I erase a beautiful rainbow? When this love has nowhere to go?
But why am I so blue because It just had to be you?
 
The beautiful rainbow that I was talking about which I waited for quite long time has arrived and started early of this year. We struggled as friends so we set some rules and limits. I thought I could manage my feelings, so I said we cannot go across the line. But after several months of controlling my personal feelings, I've fallen in-love with a man who cannot love only one person. So I proposed not to see him again, but apparently he didn't wanted me to go away from him, then finally said "He loves me" I've reminded him that he might just forgetting his current life and situation. But he disregarded it as for him, he wanted to enjoy the days with me, so he lost control and we became both confused everyday, we let everyday pass with the usual companion of each others voice over the phone almost about whole time of the day. Our relationship bloomed and what had followed was unconscious courtship, sleepless nights, frequent dates and then, much to our mutual wonderment, love.

I find myself frequently asks or think of the same questions above. I'm kinda alarmed for it's being repetitive every single idle time. I guess it's not that I am having some regrets from it "I believe I don't" but I think it's just because I miss "US".... I'm lost inside my mind and I can't stop myself from shedding tears. I've learned that it's true, love is really beyond our control.

Dear Ex,
Even though we aren't together and I hear nothing from you, I hope you're okay. Persevere with your dreams. If you keep on fighting you will defeat the opponent (our love), resist the temptation to talk to me like what you're doing now. It's been month and a half and I still carry the loneliness but worry not much I know it's part of moving on. I wish I could stop the pain and the rain from falling, I might can't escape now but soon it will because it just really takes time. Still I thank God for he has chosen me to be his instrument and I thank you for making me feel loved.
Advanced Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Love,
Rannellie