The clock is ticking

In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged. -Hans Nouwens 

Today, i've a very mixed emotions.

Mama's waiting for me at the lobby

Just this morning I, together with my mama went to embassy to pass the final requirements i needed to submit. I'm glad. Kasi matatapos na ang paghihintay, kumpleto na ang lahat. When i reached home i got a call from my aunt asking how was it. She mentioned that she's gonna have a follow up call to that office after two weeks to expedite the process. She told me that within 1-2 months, probably first or second week of September, I'll be with them. She told me, that i could take their language course first and see if i can go to a collage school in there. She told me that i wouldn't be that bored because I'll be with them, my cousins are there too, that we'll go out, we'll bond whenever they're free. She told me to save money, find a suitable job. Inviting, so I'm blessed to have this chance. Thank you Lord.

My besty made it!

Then i went to see my especial friend this afternoon and we did this page of a children's activity book. It brings me so much entertainment, it helps when i have this indescribable feeling.

Half of me wants to "take" this chance and part of me shouts "STAY".  I am afraid thinking about the possible scenarios i would encounter when i get back, na baka iba na ang lahat, wala na yung ibang mahalagang tao sa buhay ko na sobrang pinahahalagahan ko, ang mga grupong humubog sa pagkatao ko, ang lahat. Iniisip ko nalang tuloy na "the only constant thing in this world is change" i hope hindi drastic changes ang madadatnan ko sa aking pag-balik.

Nasabi ko sa sarili ko... Mapagbiro ka talaga tadhana. Noon na gustong gusto ko umalis hindi mo ako kinuha, kung kelan masayang masaya ako sa piling ng mga kaibigan ko, ng especial someone ko, ng family ko, eto ka... China-challenge nanaman ako. I'll do my best. I will do this to in the name of love, for my family and for my future.

Dearest Friends,

       You'll be in  my heart and prayers. See you always.

My big sisters

UST CONSERVATORY

Ate joyce, Cam, Apa and Albert sa aming puso

MUKHAAD <3

My Beloved MOJC

The love of my life

I've been listening to the song "Love of my life" by Jim Brickman for over a week now and it keeps on tuning in my head. Yes, definitely it is not an ordinary song as it touches my heart every time i listen to it.

Forgive me as i sound like a hopeful child while i tell you this: I always think of wedding songs i would like to be played on my wedding day. And this song, is arr-like (my tears are falling now).

If God would stop dicing and would ask me to select... It is ____ (He knew my choice).

Perhaps i've already met my husband to be.

Or maybe I'll meet him not just soon.

It could be God, who is not yet decided for what kind of life he would want me to have. 

Anxious me. Because of this song, i couldn't stop wondering.

Dear God, 

          Whoever he is... I thank you because i know you'll give me the just person. I promise to take care of him, make sure he is happy, and i promise to love him all my life. If that right time comes to have our own family, We'll be good and responsible parents. We'll use music to serve you. I know life wouldn't be that easy, but we'll use our energy for you. You'll be the center of my dreamed family so that we are protected. And now I'm being ambitious, sorry but yes i do. This such simple life is what I hope you give to me.

*** Whatever is your plan Lord, I'll be strong and I'll face it. I'll be responsible. Please always guide me when I'm making decisions. You know how much i love you Lord, you know what's in my heart, my real heart's desire. In the end, i surrender everything and let your will be done