Christmas Dedications

I can't help not to think about my far away loved ones so I wrote letters for you.


Dear Mojc,
Today you celebrated our Christmas party. I waited all day hoping that I could see you via skype but it seems that you'd forgotten me, that I was online awaiting for you. But to move on, I understand and it's ok.
This is the first year of my absence in our annual Christmas party. To my Ate Irene, Vhanj, Rhea, Heidi, Nicka Aj and Lhen, this is the first year that I wouldn't be able to hug you and greet you personally. Remember few years ago? We were hopeless and felt helpless each week, having less than 10 people serving in the choir? Some had even suggested to surrender the service but we didn't stop from there, rather we restarted and renewed our commitments to our Mother. I am really glad we did that and I am happy to see our numbers growing. We were all together in the fight, we solidly dedictated our time, money and efforts to continue the fire burning. Remember the goofy stuffs we made? And oh the charities we've made to happen too? Do you remember when we were on a caroling where this group of men called us to sing for them as they heard us caroling on their neighbor's door and they said "Because of your voices we felt the true spirit Christmas" It's as if they were not sober talking normally to us. I know we are not the finest choir in Sto. Domingo but we're one of a kind. I guess what made us alive is our true dedication and love to serve. I guess that is how a soldier should fight. For the current members, You are the hope of the group, continue to serve and don't stop. Thank you for continuing the legacy which has started 18 years ago. I'll see you in the future.

To my Mukhaad dearest Brothers and Sisters,
I believe I've already said piece before I left physically. I terribly miss the Sunday sessions, especially those people who are really close to my heart. Ate Joyce, Apa, Kuya allecks, Albert, Cam, Toto, Ate Che, Carol, the brothers and friends, I remember going to Ust paskuhan, banio kreek, malls, group dates, Toms world, Dapitan arcade, Tagaytay, and the mad office itself with you. Those? It all made my Sundays extraordinary happy. You were unconscious that I was actually regaining myself thru you. I can't wait to see you. I am certain you are missing me too.. If ever we'll play a game, please I dont want it to be "WHO IS?" because you know I might say Greg instead of Genard. Lols. 

To my Especial friend,
Even if we are try to kill the love we have, even if we chose to stay away from each other, and even if we force ourselves to shut our hearts. We can't win because we can't force to make things happen right away. I've recovered myself from our painful cut. I couldn't force myself to erase everything about you or you alone in my heart and my thoughts, I mean I've tried, but I only looked miserable and desperate. So, I think I should stop doing so. Maybe it's merely because of the anecdote I forgot to use, they said that "There is no remedy for love but to love more" It's applicable therefore, I've decided to let go now, to surrender all to our God and to silently continue my love for you as a friend. 

To all my friends,
May you feel the God's presence not just this Christmas season but in everyday of your lives. May he grant you the desires and wishes you are always praying for. May you serve as an inspiration to others by doing God's will in your simplest way. See you around.

To my Family, 
Thank you for being at my back, we can do this! I love you all.

And to my  self,
You made it! You deserved a well blessed Christmas. Start the new year with a glowing heart and stronger faith. Don't lose your track, stay focus, positive and happy whatever comes to happen. Open your heart, and free it. Spread your wings now, and do what you love.

I want to thank all of you for contributing such joyous moments in my year.
As I move forward everyday, and every week miles away from you, also I always look forward to serve again someday and to be with you for good. Mahirap pala talaga mapalayo sa buhay na kinalakihan mo, sa lugar kung san ka natuto, sa nakasanayan mo, at sa mga taong pinakamamahal mo. I hope you are all doing fine.

Have a blessed Christmas world.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

CHEERS!

Christmas Reflection

For the past few days I was browsing old pictures on my facebook account where I've been tagged in so many albums, with different people, different events, each of them has different stories. I seriously wanna thank Mr. Mark Zuckerberg for founding, recording and operating facebook which where I could see my life's most important memoirs, from the birth of that profile account until now. 

During my teenage years I was actively serving at church and performing thru music. I served 2 Churches in every week. I sing, teach the choirs, piano, I've committed my life in my passion. Of course my life is not perfect (well no one has), My life has a lot of down sides too. I wasn't born with a golden spoon in my mouth. In the year 2009 My mother lost her job which was our main source of income at that time, after a year and first semester, I stopped from school. It was so hard for me to accept that kind of situation. I had been so frustrated because of that fate. I needed to work for us. I had loosen my comprehension, and I didn't understand why all those have to be in my life. But somehow we found a temporary solution to make up the challenges we have then. We're still in the process of re-establishing what we've lost, and on our way to achieving our goals. After those times, I felt I've lost or damaged the integral part of my passion.

Then after few years, here I am. Because of all those trials, I've become stronger and braver. I am more exposed with the various types or venues where and how to learn, to feel even and to play fair in the game called life. By flashing back all that has happened in my life, I would only want say THANK YOU to our dearest Father in heaven. He has made me a true believer of his will, he was above all my courage and strength, he has made my everyday bright or at least cloudy. He gave me wonderful people to encounter, to learn something with, to be my company, or just to be my friends forever. He granted me a very meaningful times. He brought me somewhere I was only dreaming of when I was a kid. I realized that those things are bound happen because they have to.

In Denmark, during winter season we only have 5-6 hours daylight, the rest of the hours are to dim. It is reminding me everyday about these sayings,

 "Life is too short; Enjoy each day as if it is your last." 

"We live, as we die" 

Maybe God has programmed us and everything surrounds us, like that or as it is because he have to. He manage to balance all. 

In a conversation I had with Ate Deng she gave me unsolicited advises which I would like to re-consider and always be reminded of .


Me: oo nga po, naku ate deng, bata pa ako para magasawa.. 
Deng T: I'm sure na mimiss mo ang simbang gabi at ang pagkanta dito 
Me: Super ate.. super namimiss ko na ang Sto. Domingo!
Deng T: Well, that's true, altho may advantages ang maagang pag-asawa like me. At least mga anak ko tapos na and i am now enjoying my life bago sumakit mga gulugod ko, hehe 
Me: It depends rin kasi ate deng. First I need to have a stable status before that. Second, wala pa yung taong magpapasakal sakin.. haha  
Deng T: Hay naku, hingin mo na lang kay Lord. Yung someone he will prepare for you and that you will be prepared by Him for that person para pagnagkita kayo, alam niyo you are meant for each other. Mahirap din yung may sarili kang idea ng guy na gusto mo. Pag iyon ang nakita mo, kahit gaano pa kagwapo, eh siguradong may mali for you. Mas hanapin mo yung true friendship and partnership. Yung love emotion, pagnainis ka, nagbabago yun. Yung true friendship will have the test of time. Basta try to see the world at a young age, ipagdasal mo rin na kung siya yung right person for you ay malaman mo thru the gift of God's wisdom. Baka hintay ka ng hintay at the same time nakafocus ka lang dun, di mo naririnig yung sagot, di pala siya. Nag-ubos ka lang ng oras and your youth. Mahirap magsisi sa huli.One other advice pala- Always, always magnify the Lord. Offer everything as in everything for the glory of his name. I realized He will also magnify you. Yun lang and mag-ingat ka lagi. Send a msg lang pag may kelangan ka. A blessed christmas to you. Baka sinasabi ni Lord, di lang sa santo mo siya makikita. Kelangan spread your wings, you are needed elsewhere! 
Me: Wow.. opo I will.. Eye opener. tama ka ate.. 
Deng T: Another advice- dream only on God's dreams for you and you will never be disappointed or sad. Ako, i live my day asking the Lord always what he wants me to do, where he wants me to go, etc. and i am amazed at his majesty. He has brought me to heights, i have never dreamed of, nor anyone has brought me to! 
Me: Tama ka ate! I should continue what I've started.. with my full trust in him. Hay love your advices te deng! salamat po! 
Deng T: Unquestionable Obedience, yan ang tumimo sa puso ko during the simbang gabi novena masses. And Mary is the best example. You should now compose and sing your own Magnificat. Pagnagawa mo na, parinig ha! 
Me: haha. sige po ate... tama ka. 


I think I've given myself enough time. I think it is about time to continue my life,  It's time to regain myself and this shall be my rebirth. 

Prayer: 

Lord, Give me insight to know your will. Then I will cherish it with all my heart.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone! :)

The perks of being a wallflower

 Here's another must read and must watch novel! 

Important Quotations

• "We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve"
• "I Would Die For You, But I Won't Live For You."
• "Even If We Don't Have The Power To Choose Where We Come From, We Can Still Choose Where We Go From There."
• “He's A Wallflower. You See Things. You Keep Quiet About Them. And You Understand.”
   It's just a great novel.

   

   

Try to understand quickly why. ------>>>> The Literary Tree: 'We accept the love we think we deserve' - The Per...: This is a gem of a book, often labelled as the Catcher in the Rye for this generation, but it is completely unique in its own right too...

Do it or not?

We Filipinos are very active and agitated when we celebrate the most awaited season of each year. We barely settle for nothing, we join parties, we look for friends, family members, loved ones to have gift exchange or to simply gather and stay with them for whatever reason. I'm gonna ask you to put yourself on my shoe cause I need you, help me. I have only one question yet I feel confounded with this simple crap. 

My goal is just to call him long-distanced, personally talk to him, hear his voice, hear his answer from the "how are doing?" question, greet him and that's it. 

To call or not? He's a friend who was so very dear to me. I would not give details of why I'm confusing myself but I am giving you insights. 

First, I think I'd be biased if I wouldn't greet him on Christmas or to this upcoming New Year. I've called my family and friends but I haven't done it for him. Let me mention our condition that we are trying not to communicate as long as it's not needed.

Second, I don't think he will greet me first so I am trying to convince my mind to do the first move. 

Lastly, I'm not sure if I'm all set. I'm terrified.

Should I just make a blog-letter or I should give him a call and just do it? What do you think?

Perhaps Love

Perhaps love is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home
Perhaps love is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through
Oh, Love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
And some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
Thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be on you
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
Some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the Ocean
Full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside
Or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be on you

It's always one of my favorite songs I'm sharing this beautiful rendition of my Idol Ms. Aiza Seguerra.

First winter snow incident

Every one once in their life wishes to experience the snow.

December 2, 2012
5:40 AM
I was awakened by God when my feet rushed me to the toilet, then after peeing I looked outside and saw the white crystallized ground. My first reaction with a very low voice was "Wwwwoooohhhww". It was an enchanting and dramatic moment of my life, I couldn't imagine at that time another wish in my bucket list will be crossed out. I'd been wishing this ever since and at last they're just right in the corner. It occurs to me that I should probably wake up my cousins, right there I ran back to the room and whispered "Ate, Nag-i-snow na!" to my cousin's ear. She maddingly opened her eyes went to the window and exultingly screamed "WAaaahhh!!!" She did the same, she ran toward the room and breathlessly jumped which lasted for 3 minutes. Impromptu, we'd worn our usual outdoor attire and dressed up anticipating first time good pictures with it and so we went out just like kids, played, laid, and enjoyed our first time.

And certainly right in my hands, the fluffy, powdered granules of the ice which melts on my face brought aid to my lonely heart, it was a magical feeling. At that moment in my life I wished that my love is beside me, hugging me tight as he could or we could have a snow balls fight, or we could build our own snowmen family, or we could have a romantic walk while it is snowing or right when it is about to snow as we are gently holding each other's hand or better yet, its nice to walk into our warm home while we drink some hot cocoa sitting next to a fireplace watching the snow with him. As if our love has no end.

Since then, just in a flash I have witnessed and felt the importance of snow.

Here are some of the shots------>>>>>>>

Why does it had to be you?

How do you stop the rain from falling?
And how can I stop myself from loving you? Why does it have to be? It had to be you?
How can I erase a beautiful rainbow? When this love has nowhere to go?
But why am I so blue because It just had to be you?
 
The beautiful rainbow that I was talking about which I waited for quite long time has arrived and started early of this year. We struggled as friends so we set some rules and limits. I thought I could manage my feelings, so I said we cannot go across the line. But after several months of controlling my personal feelings, I've fallen in-love with a man who cannot love only one person. So I proposed not to see him again, but apparently he didn't wanted me to go away from him, then finally said "He loves me" I've reminded him that he might just forgetting his current life and situation. But he disregarded it as for him, he wanted to enjoy the days with me, so he lost control and we became both confused everyday, we let everyday pass with the usual companion of each others voice over the phone almost about whole time of the day. Our relationship bloomed and what had followed was unconscious courtship, sleepless nights, frequent dates and then, much to our mutual wonderment, love.

I find myself frequently asks or think of the same questions above. I'm kinda alarmed for it's being repetitive every single idle time. I guess it's not that I am having some regrets from it "I believe I don't" but I think it's just because I miss "US".... I'm lost inside my mind and I can't stop myself from shedding tears. I've learned that it's true, love is really beyond our control.

Dear Ex,
Even though we aren't together and I hear nothing from you, I hope you're okay. Persevere with your dreams. If you keep on fighting you will defeat the opponent (our love), resist the temptation to talk to me like what you're doing now. It's been month and a half and I still carry the loneliness but worry not much I know it's part of moving on. I wish I could stop the pain and the rain from falling, I might can't escape now but soon it will because it just really takes time. Still I thank God for he has chosen me to be his instrument and I thank you for making me feel loved.
Advanced Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Love,
Rannellie